under the radar

For every girl-woman-child in you, a prayer for a Blueberry Girl




This is how it began, with a poem for a friend's baby.

Because Candy tagged me for the Kreativ Blogger Award and I just made a Random 25 list on Facebook, I thought it be best to cover all bases and merge the lists as one.

No more tagging from me. This meme is free for all. :)

Here goes:

1. Depending on when or where you met/knew me, you'd probably have a distinct impression of me. Things have certainly changed over the years!

2. I love good food and sometimes I'll make an effort to cook a special meal, but I prefer to just sit down and enjoy a sumptuous meal prepared by someone else. Cooking really isn't a calling -- and trust me, I've made several attempts. I'm a good food shopper, though.

3. It may not look it to many, but I can be quite adventurous and open-minded in ways no one would expect. I once posed for the late and wonderful photographer Marlon Despues. I thought motherhood and marriage tamed me, but the other day I seized the opportunity to try pole dancing class for an article assignment.

4. I never studied or planned to make writing a career. I always had a love affair with words though -- and I'm glad that has led me to what I am doing now.

5. I studied Business Management in college -- against my real wishes. It was a parental demand, and I was happiest being kicked out of MEco, spending a year in SocSci before shifting to Mgt. Many, many years later, I have made peace with business, finding out that I actually ENJOY it. I just wish it wasn't forced on me.

6. I applied to be a teacher after college. I even went as far as giving a demo class to an AHS class. Something though told me it wasn't the right thing for me.

7. But I do have experience in teaching. For Th141 immersion, a bunch of us taught in an elementary school in Barangka over a period of weeks. And for about a year, I taught supplementary English and some Math to high school students at the Sibol Hesus School.

7. I think I might have tried out for JVP if it didn't need parental permission.

8. I'm a true Aquarian: a social loner. I can easily socialize in pretty much any situation (I have a history of kaladkarin moments too), but I like flying solo. I never really felt the need to be part of a crowd all the time.

9. That doesn't mean that I don't love my friends. The Crew is family. And I can be fiercely loyal to those that matter to me.

10. I have always loved kids -- being with them, talking to them, playing with them. And before, I used to have an illogical fear of being barren. I guess I was wrong. :P

11. I am still sometimes surprised that there was a time a baby was growing inside me then I try to connect the idea with this little person who has become a walking, talking, running, negotiating, singing, joking, living being.

12. I am a late bloomer when it comes to appreciating music, art, and culture in general. But now I can't imagine a life that is not immersed in it.

13. I got involved in music by chance. I was just sitting in a meeting of people who wanted to put up a music org. I ended up being an officer. And drawing up its constitution. And being a rock band manager after graduation.

14. Sitting in also got me involved in political activism. I wasn't supposed to be in that DEA meeting, but I left with an assignment already. I was later found lobbying and rallying.

15. It was hard for me to change the world because I was doing it behind my dad's back. I would hide behind the cameras if media would arrive.

16. I love design, but I can't draw for squat.

17. I can't learn to love the gym. I would try and go back once a year. Literally.

18. I found an affinity in other kinds of workouts: I used to run before class in college. Lately, I discovered Pilates. If only I could afford it.

19. I used to be in varsity in college. Surprise, surprise. Friends took me to the shooting range, and I joined the rifle-pistol team. I had some promise in me. I made it to Varsity in time to be exempted from 2 semesters of PE classes. I quit after that... because our coach took us to a live firing range which was much more fun! (And I chose politics over sports eventually)

29. I was (mistakenly) referred to as the gin goddess in the far province of Baler. It was a surf trip, but I was there to just hang out, not to surf. The surf dudes liked to think that I drank them under the table but should have remembered that they started drinking before I did and that I had a lazy day compared to their wave-riding one. I'm scared to go back and face a drinking challenge.

21. I acted in a play once. It had a repeat performance in Freedom Bar where we drank real beers and smoked cigarettes and cursed out loud. Happy times with friends.

22. I miss writing -- writing for myself and not as work. Writing as expression. I don't know where to start now.

23. I also miss reading. Baby repaced books, it seems. I need to work on that, I know.

24. I'm back in the Katipunan area where I grew up, and I love experiencing it anew. So much has changed, but it holds a lot of happy memories too.

25. I am really grateful for the house we are living in. I am happy it serves its purposes well: a place we gladly go home to, a venue to gather friends, and a refuge from the craziness outside.

"I draw you a space rock! It's a giant one!" Matthew prods us to look at his creation on the Magic Sketcher.  He erases the tablet and draws another "space rock." And again. And again.

I asked Armand, why does he know what a space rock is? I don't know, he says.

"Matthew," I ask him, "where did you see a space rock?"

"In space!" he gleefully answers.

"Have you been to space?" I ask.

He gives me a look that is amused and almost condescending.

"Little Einsteins!"  And off  he dances away, singing, "We're going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship..."

We’ve set the date for the movers.  By next week, you can find me in my new home, in my new neighborhood.

I’ve been trying to exercise a certain kind of restraint about the move.  But I’m giddy.  Armand is happy too.  Matthew still thinks we have two houses, but I’m sure he will be the one to benefit most from the new place.

Now, what is just so great about this?  It is, I suppose, quite personal, but let me share my joy.

What a fun meme!
Nicked it off Anj's blogspot.


1. Go here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go here:
http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
If you want to do this again, you’ll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.

3. Go here:
http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Go here.
http://www.randomwebsite.com/
The first ten links you end up in (minus the .coms) are your 10 song titles.


Here's my "album"

Band name: Lone Star Series

Album title: surprise with great frequency

The tracklist:
1. overage 4 design
2. food network
3. national interest
4. mister buster
5. hyper realist
6. barbelith
7. prospect
8. noise pop
9. web hero
10. toy machine

Tags are free for all for this one!

 

For instance, there's finding a new home to move to. Or starting a new job that gives you that gives in to your wishes to stay home, take care of your kid, have a certain sense of security, and create something that will affect the lives of many people. There's also other kinds of work, the type that you take home because you collaborate with your husband -- and this time, you're truly in sync. There's making time to see friends, never mind if it needs the occasion of people coming home from another country. And of course, there's the toddler who's growing up too fast, talking non-stop, singing and humming and making stories and making sure that everyday is nothing like the previous day.

Back online, though, I started trying out plurking. You can say I'm still getting the hang of it.

Ateneo changed my life in many, many ways.  Teachers like Gus really make a difference.  He was my Philo 103 teacher, and I also used to talk to him a lot.  Well, I talked to a lot of my teachers.  I think this article hits home very well.  For all the elitist education, Ateneo taught me how to be Filipino.  And how to give my best.
----------

ON THE MEANING OF AN ATENEO EDUCATION
by Agustin Martin G. Rodriguez, Ph.D.

When my daughter had the chance to finish high school in New York, we agonized about it: I more than her. Her agony centered around the need to moderate her desire to embark on this adventure because she knew it would break my heart. My agony had two thorns. Firstly, I didn’t want her to go because in all our lives, we had never spent more than 2 days apart from each other. Secondly, there was the irony of her studying in the United States. As a nationalist academic and development worker, I always believed that one’s spirit had to be formed with one’s people—among their myths and their sufferings—in order to understand who one is, what one’s responsibilities are and to whom one’s heart belongs. I know to the sophisticated global citizen I would sound archaic and provincial, but I still believe that before our spirit can embrace the world it must be rooted in a home we love. But I knew that the idea of giving up this opportunity was breaking her up inside because, as she said, she might spend the rest of her life wondering what if, so I let her go. She left with the promise that she would come back for college because I still believe that the university years are formative. But we all know how those promises go. Two years in the glitter of a new world could weaken the bindings of promises made in times of great emotions. It has been a year and we are now completely at peace with her decision to leave.

All that I have said is a prelude to why I am writing this piece. I am writing this to explain why I believe her formation in the Ateneo would still be the best for my daughter. I want to clarify to everyone else who raise their eyebrows at me, what I mean when I say that I believe an education here is superior to any ivy league education. Many of my colleagues who know that my daughter has a chance to study in an American university cannot understand why I would prefer that she study here. One of them even exclaimed: “You would prefer that she study here even if she had a chance to study in Harvard!” with a you-are-so ridiculous tone. And to me the answer was “Yes, of course, you’re so ridiculous.” And the reason is simply this: she may get a superior technical education in some top ranking university abroad but only in the Philippines will she have a superior education in being a Filipino for Filipinos.

My daughter wants to be a writer and recently she has had a chance to attend a prestigious workshop in an American university best known as a center for writing. And I was witness to how because of that opportunity, her writing skills have advanced light years from when she left. I have no doubt that if she studied creative writing in one of the US universities known for it, her skills would be strengthened even more. But what would she write about? A great writer is as much about her skill as it is about her great insight. If you have the skill but not the immersion in the profound re a l i t i e s t h a t h ave formed yo u r s o u l , w h a t i s t h e re t o w r i t e about? And who would she write for? A truly great writer is one whose passion is fueled by the need to speak for her people, especially the mute. And to even begin to want to speak for them, you have to be grounded in their misery. One’s people are never generic: they take concrete form in the faces that resonate in your heart. I think an education in her own country would prepare her to face the faces that resonate in her heart and perhaps an Ateneo education could awaken the passion to respond to those faces.

I know that many complain that Ateneans lead a very sheltered life in this campus. In an infinite number of ways that is ridiculously true. In the end, the Ateneo is the Ateneo: a separate world from the world of the margins. But what most people don’t understand about the Ateneo, is that the Ateneo is not just about the majors or the specific programs. It is about a spirit that pervades among its best people.

When I was young, I was ready to quit the Church because I was convinced that there were no intelligent and just Catholics. And then I came to the Ateneo where I met Catholics who strove to serve the margins because of their love of God. And because they loved God’s people, they strove for excellence. That realization astounded me and kept me in the Church and in Ateneo. If anything, Filipino Jesuit education just means to teach people that the love of God means nothing but to love the people who suffer forgotten in the margins, and that we strive for excellence in what we do to serve them best: otherwise excellence and the love of God is empty. What else does faith mean? What else grounds excellence? What else measures the good of a life but that? And if you take Ateneo education seriously enough, and if you are open to its opportunities enough, it will lead you to that realization and it will lead you to your first opening to the faces that you will have to serve. At its core, Ateneo education is an apprenticeship in the work of being a Filipino for others. This is only a slogan so long as one misses out on the living examples of alumni, scholars, administrators, maintenance and staff who show us the way to realizing the truth of an Ateneo education. Open your eyes to those who serve radically and they will radically educate your heart. And if one is open enough one can see that such people dwell in this school because there is a spirit in this school that cradles them and supports their vocation. It is intangible, but it is a spirit that guides the best of us.

Some people feel that we are an elite school that cultivates an elite rationality. Radioactive Sago’s brilliant third album is entitled “… Ang Daming Nagugutom Sa Mundo Fashionista Ka Pa Rin.” In one gig, Lord de Vera was plugging their album and he said “Bilhin ninyo ang aming album ‘… Ang Daming Nagugutom Sa Mundo Atenista Ka Pa Rin.’” I could understand his sentiments exactly. Just listen to conversations in the pocket garden where people complain about the heat, their slow laptops and their old school phones and anyone who knows anything about the hardships in our country will easily agree with Lord. But then, if you think about it, although some of our graduates are oblivious to the suffering around them and even if some of them do reinforce structures that exploit the suffering, there is that core of Ateneans touched by the spirit of this school who choose to genuinely build communities founded on justice, to found enterprises that serve true needs, to lawyer for the oppressed, and to doctor for the poor. Many innovations of justice building in our country arise because of their apprenticeships in the magis of our service. We just don’t hear about these things because they don’t find their way into our tarpaulins. But the spirit is there and it is the spirit that defines us more than basketball championships or the number of CEOs we produce. Somehow, because of our formation, Ateneans still tend to be idealistic about service. And so I say “Dahil ang daming nagugutom sa mundo kailangan mong seryosohin ang pagka- Atenista.” This is why, my dear fellow parents, I think an Ateneo education is more valuable for my daughter than a Cornell or Harvard or Princeton education: because here, we learn to be excellent for something important—our people and our Filipino humanity.

Dr. Rodriguez is currently an Assistant Professor of the Philosophy Department of the Loyola Schools. His daughter, Leal, is a freshman in the Ateneo majoring in AB Humanities. Edited version of “To my colleagues: On the meaning of an Ateneo education” by Agustin Martin G. Rodriguez, Ph.D. Chalk Marks. The Guidon. Volume LXXV. Number 6.

Baby Einstein has stopped tagging themselves as "educational."  Critics and experts have long been warning parents about the dangers of letting young children watch television.  Is it really that bad?  I still let my son watch his videos, though.  Do you?

(Continue reading)

I knew I was married to a big-time Star Wars fan. Little did I know that the situation could still be raised to a whole new level.

Read about it here.

Matthew embarks on a new toddler adventure as he enjoys the city’s different modes of public transport.

Having no car in the city can be a hassle a lot of times. It can get quite tedious and uncomfortable to get from one place to another. Add this mad summer blaze, and I’ve chosen to stay put at home and not move if I can help it.

But pressing matters forced me out of my lethargic mode the other day. Disregarding the scorching heat and with Matthew in tow, I laid out my itinerary for the day: four quick stops that should take some two to three hours. I kept my errands near enough each other, hoping that by containing them in a general area I can keep the trip stress-free.

Matthew, though, must have viewed the day in a different perspective altogether.

(read more)

This is so amazing, I think.

In Sao Paulo, Brazil, apparently, all advertising has been stripped down---including neon signs, electronic panels and billboards as of the start of 2008. The effects are several. To quote, "As the corporate media peels back its in-your-face advertisements the city is finally allowed to define its own beauty."

On the flipside, there are also all the materials put down piling up as garbage. Two organizations involved in social design help to, not just clean up the mess, but transform it into some practical and *fashionable* items.


I believe we can take some pointers here. Imagine what our own city would look like if we followed suit.

Check out the story here.

Just as I was coming to terms with a dear friend's sudden passing, we had to face our own medical scare.  My poor baby was rushed to the emergency room Wednesday night.  He's home and well, and from all indications back to perfect health. 

But it was still very frigthening and sad.

Now, I need to remember what normal is like again. I had to say my goodbyes to Jay by myself---just as when he was alive, I got swallowed up again by things that are way out of my control. Still, I am sorry and really regret not being able to pay one last visit.

To the Keitri people, I still hope to catch up with you guys.  It's been far too long.  Maybe we meet next time during happier circumstances.

There must be some sort of tension that lies between the roles of being a mother and being a writer. A writer who writes for the sake of writing, and not for the intent of glorified acclaim that comes with publication, is one who turns inward. When I write, I unabashedly present my views, my fears, my experiences as the crux of reality, contained in verses or in prose riding on cadence. I control how I portray high and low points, as I hush screaming voices and exclaim quiet victories. I tell my world to patiently wait for me to make my point.

Finally updated my profile website... I found a template that I am much happier with.  Also uploaded some articles that saw print recently. 

Check it out, and tell me what you think!

http://candicelopez.wordpress.com

It's been a different kind of busy for me.  These days, because of both choice and chance, I am full-time mom and homemaker. Armand is busy and cannot be disturbed, and Matthew and I are exiled to the living room or to the mall. 

So my days are filled with Gymboree, the usual chores, and TV shows! When Matthew is awake, we watch Go, Diego, Go!, The Wonderpets, and Elmo's World.  When I have solo time, I'm catching up on Brother and Sisters (thanks Jae and Binx for the lead!), Gossip Girl. Desperate Housewives, and Heroes.  Thank you, torrents, and I'm sorry to my cable subscription---it's going to waste right now.

Tomorrow, I go on work-mode for a bit as I head off to work on an article assignment. Speaking of which, I just realized that my byline is out on several magazines this month: Mega (features on Kate Torralba, Gaston Damag, and Jucar Raquepo), Smart Parenting (health article on germs), and Wedding Essentials for July-Dec (Sweet Bella feature and article on merging finances) and WE Beautiful Weddings (feature on wedding dance choreographer).  Whew.   No wonder I was a bit stressed some weeks ago!

Reposting from Cookie's site, for the benefit of family and other friends:

Two Saturday's ago, the crew got together for the Pidos' housewarming, Cy's homecoming, and Binky's surprise party.  The boys eventually moved upstairs and had their own private party. Here's a peek into what went on there:

Please pass on to interested parties! I'm reposting for my friend. Pics and original post at http://kagey.multiply.com/journal/item/126

Nikon 500mm lens up for grabs! Specs: Manual focus mirror (reflex) lens fixed at F8. This lens has shot humpback whales in the Babuyan Islands, surfers all over the country and possibly been used as a stalker lens on occassion. ;) Has a few scratches on the barrel as a result of its tour of duty but is in excellent working condition. Selling cos I need the cash. I wouldn't part with this baby if I didnt absolutely have to. Price: Php8,500The same lens is being sold on Ebay now for US$215-275

Go, go, go!

... is making me not write.

I am stuck. Blocked.

(It should be an easy assignment but I am not progressing.)

I will need a break from writing that is work.

I will need a break from writing.

Soon.

Then I can get back to making the words flow again.

I won't be surprised if, sometimes, people wonder how we get by.  Think about it: two freelancers in the third-world Philippines raisng a toddler. Paying the bills, going out to eat, shopping for nice things, enrolling in playschool.  It's a little unreal... and unrealistic. Of course, the truth is we don't announce the times when we're worried about what happens until the receivables come, or the times when we freak out about the electricity bill, or the times when we declare moratoriums on restaurants and shopping.

But we do have a comfortable life, this way of working and living and learning together. We're sticking out this choice of a life because--I'd like to think--we're focused on where we're headed.  We've been lucky so far with our choices and the breaks we're getting, I'd like to think that the universe is giving us good karma as well as teaching us the need for hard work.  It becomes a cycle.  Work brings luck and luck brings work.  Not everyone may understand that even if we're in bed until 11am sometimes (like these days when mornings are dark and grey), that our days are full of things-to-do and that maybe, perhaps, we were working until 3am with proposals and brainstorming, after the baby had gone to sleep and the house put back in order.

Hard-earned luck for hard work. Good work for good luck.  And the good instincts to recognize how they play off each other.  Everyday, I am learning my lessons.  Recently, I am being taught gratitude.

While surfing around for the web, I chanced upon these commercials for Shiseido Uno (hair wax). It features Japanese manga artist Inoue Takehiko, and it's fun to watch.

According to StartDrawing.Org, "This series of creative ads centered around big overhead drawings done by Inoue Takehiko, one of the most famous Japanese manga artists, renowned for his hit basketball series Slam Dunk. The hair part is made up of many people who moved around to form varying hairstyles. The appropriate tagline “Draw Your Style”, effectively sums up the set of beautifully crafted ads."






Here they are behind the scenes (quite an intersting and enlightening perspective, I think):